I must be getting old, I guess

Some of you have already heard a couple of these, & yet my 12-year-old son continues to (hopefully ignorantly) spit them out.
On Sunday at church, he's being all affectionate, leaning up against me, gazing up at me admiringly (I thought), then whispered, "Are you growing a mustache?"
On Tuesday, he arrives at the library & gives me a nice big hug, then starts patting my face & saying, "Wrinkle here, wrinkle here..."
On Wednesday evening, we pick up his brand-new glasses & he's looking all around him in wonder at the clarity of his vision.  Then he focuses on me from about 5 feet away, & says, "I can even see the bags under your eyes!  You must be tired or something."

What's on the Agenda?

"Yes, I will be here next Thursday.  There will be whining."

The son's honesty

We were walking out of Walmart last night after running into one of Nix's old teachers from elementary school.  It reminded him of something, so he said, "I saw Mrs. Wardrop at the library today."
I work at the library, & I'd seen a teacher earlier in the day, so, wondering if she was one & the same, I asked, "What does she look like?"
"She has curly hair."
"Is it long curly hair?"
"No."
"Is she fat like me?"
"No, she's a health teacher."

Newsworthy

"Wait, LDS people who are republicans made the front page cuz they're dead?!"

"It's only illustrated nudity, so it doesn't really count."

Work Practices

"I can understand working outside the box, but there's that & there's working outside the universe."

At IHOP:  "He didn't say anything about the goats on the table."

And later: "You don't even have a tongue!  What are you licking me with?"

Leprosy & Directions

Last Sunday, at church:  "Well, you're really lucky your friend has leprosy, too!"

And today, a man asked me where our copier is.  My response, "Right down there in the middle, just past the sleeping boy." 
It was so cute, this little four-year-old had just gotten back from Disneyland, was exhausted, & sat down for a minute while his mom perused the new arrival display, only to fall asleep with his legs crossed & his head bent down over his legs.

#8 on the list of things I never thought I'd ask my 12-year-old

Why do you have a moustache & a beard?

Acrobatics

At work:  "I like the butt-pogo."

Sharon the Sniffer

Sharon: "Are you hot?  You took your sweater off."
me: "I didn't wear a sweater today."
Sharon: "Are you sure?  Didn't I sniff you?"

Triplet

Bonnie, on being my shoulder-devil:  "I'm like the anti-Jiminy Cricket."
-
Me:  "Want to know how to really irritate someone?"
Sharon:  "Work with them."
-
a mom:  "Did you hear that, Chloe?  Jason likes peanut butter & honey sandwiches.  You love peanut butter & honey sandwiches, too, don't you?"
Chloe:  "Actually, I love peanut butter & chocolate sandwiches."