Overheard: Newsworthy

Great T-Shirt Slogans

333 - only half evil
A friend will help you move, but a "real" friend will help you move a body.
Careful, or you'll end up in my novel.
Easily distracted by shiny objects.
Everyone brings joy to this office. Some when they enter, some when they leave.
I keep hitting the ESC button but I'm still here.
If idiots grew on trees this place would be an orchard.
Living life to the fullest...extent of the law.
Meh.
No one ever suspects the short ones.
Someone you never really liked has added you as a friend.
What part of MOOOOOAHAAHAHAHA don't you understand?
What would Yoda do? Your a**, kick it he would!