I must be getting old, I guess

Some of you have already heard a couple of these, & yet my 12-year-old son continues to (hopefully ignorantly) spit them out.
On Sunday at church, he's being all affectionate, leaning up against me, gazing up at me admiringly (I thought), then whispered, "Are you growing a mustache?"
On Tuesday, he arrives at the library & gives me a nice big hug, then starts patting my face & saying, "Wrinkle here, wrinkle here..."
On Wednesday evening, we pick up his brand-new glasses & he's looking all around him in wonder at the clarity of his vision.  Then he focuses on me from about 5 feet away, & says, "I can even see the bags under your eyes!  You must be tired or something."

What's on the Agenda?

"Yes, I will be here next Thursday.  There will be whining."

The son's honesty

We were walking out of Walmart last night after running into one of Nix's old teachers from elementary school.  It reminded him of something, so he said, "I saw Mrs. Wardrop at the library today."
I work at the library, & I'd seen a teacher earlier in the day, so, wondering if she was one & the same, I asked, "What does she look like?"
"She has curly hair."
"Is it long curly hair?"
"No."
"Is she fat like me?"
"No, she's a health teacher."

Newsworthy

"Wait, LDS people who are republicans made the front page cuz they're dead?!"