Been saving up.

Heard near the restrooms:  "This is the Womens', you're going into the boys', Mom!"
-
At the library:  "I'm leaving to find someplace quiet."  (In our defense, the construction can be pretty distracting, but it's not our fault!)
-
me:  "Do you want me to walk down there for you because of your groin problem?"
Sharon:  "No, I'm on drugs!"
-
"I'm not all that fond of exaltation, either."

Mispronunciation

I was telling a coworker about one man's inability to pronounce Cache as 'kash' rather than 'kash-ay'.  He protested that it was French.  My coworker said, "Did you tell him, um, in America then, Butte would then be pronounced 'boot-ay'?"

Even when I'm at work for only half a day, there's still a plethora of goodies...

"Brett's too cool for hydrocortisone!"

and

"You must have come down with perversion!  There's no cure for that!"