-ified

Taking my son back to his dad's house after church, I told him that I was feeling all funkified.  I've been using that word a bit lately, & that got us discussing what words we can add -ified to.  We started spitting out all the words we could think of with -ified added to the end:  streetified, benchified, shirtified, sadified, truckified, skyified.  Somewhere in the middle I said, "So how was church today?  What did you guys do in your classes?"
His response:  "...let's just say it's classified."

Sick

Coworker, to me:  "Are you feeling better?  You're definitely looking better.  Last time I saw you, you were all pasty & didn't look good.  You were turning green right here" (motioning just under the eyes) "like septic green.  Did not look good."

Late Fines

Matt:  "Mom, why do you not return things on time?"
Mom:  "Honey, you're lucky just to have clean underwear & a bowl of cereal in the morning."

Easter

Bonnie:  "I'm wearing my Easter socks today, Kathleen!"
Kathleen:  "So am I.  And they say 'cowabunga.'"

TMI

me:  "Why are you so wiggly?"
Nix:  "Because I'm playing SD Gundam Capsule Fighter...and...the underwear I'm wearing is tight."

Jimmy Kimmel

"Did you look at Jimmy Kimmel's butt?"
"No, I'm saving that for later."