A Parent's Reason

Nix: "Daddy, can I get some gum?"
John: "No."
Nix: "Why not?"
John: "Because you leave it in weird places."

What did we do before vacuums?

Mom:  "He's going to vacuum his head."

Also, I was told to add this one:
Dustin & I were discussing people who leave toilets unflushed, especially solid waste, & this comment came up:  "Seriously, you made all that effort to get that in there, why not just lean over & press the button when you're done?"