Fortuitous

Grumpy, tired, need more sleep...got to work  before anyone else & found a fortune from a fortune cookie on the floor:  "Now is a good time for you to explore.  Take a vacation."

Does it count if someone else ate the cookie & accidentally dropped the fortune?

Lions...oh my

Looking down the library I saw a young man, about 10 or so, come out of the men's restroom wearing a lion costume (without the head), followed by a friend.  Apparently the friend got too close, & the lionboy turned, gave him a Look, & whipped his tail up over his other shoulder, then continued on his way.

I'm not even going to ask.

"Letters to Juliet"

"Life is the messy bits."  

I bet I miss a lot of really good ones...

Last weekend:  "That'll be your goal, make it to the next Port-a-Potty."

Yesterday at work:  "Okay, I'll make a sign that says , 'Slug me for assistance.'"

Cannibalism

me, to a very nice coworker: "So, if someone were to eat you, you'd be nice & tender & soft, huh?"

maybe I should.

someone to me: "Being nice is a good thing.  You should try it sometime."